Sunday, October 11, 2009

kids of nothing

im slipping. i need to get back into shape and stop putting everything i want off to the side. im letting this female drag me behind her car while she drives it. why? couldnt tell you. its time for me to get in gear and ditch this degrading feeling i have. the lonesome has to go. out with the sorrow. i want to take this failure and mold it into gold. i used to always think i would be left alone while everyone my age around me goes away to college to pursue they're happy little fairytale lives. good for them, the point is, why did i expect such low expectations for myself my entire life? i sat and lived my own life as the sheep around me gathered they're food and found shelter. i have met my goal. the goal i set, i have now met and i am still hungry. a life of nothing. i want to run down this broken confused path of mine but i can barely walk. all my life, ive been waiting for this nothing. ive built a fort out of failure and a bunker out of spite, but whos this leader to tell the sheep that they're wrong or right? how could i take nothing and turn it into something? as ive been living my life pushing everybody away from me in fear of getting let down after i take them in, i am the one who i should have been watching. i set a curse on myself. i got the best of myself, and now i am unfixable and everything underneath my skin has gone to sleep and the only living aspect of this body is the thorne stuck in my side. im tired of this. im tired of it. im tired of it. im tired of it. im changing. you you you you you and you are getting thrown under the bus. i could give a shit about any of you're reputations, it means nothing to me who you know, what you're good at, or anyother fabrication of identity any kid gets confused with judgemental wise. i dont care what you think about me from how i act, the things i say, the things i wear, my own word i turn back on ( by the way its not a hypocryt when you grow up and get over the feelings that produced such a bold statement, and for any friend that wants to bitch and complain abut me and her being tight again just leave now because she will always be my best friend and i love her more then life and any of you worthless pieces of shit will never care or know me as well as she does, and calling me a hypocryt is the perfect example ) , to you're self centered negative thoughts on the words i put in this writing space. kids of nothing.

also. for these random highschool chumps.
you know not a single thing about me.
i hear the shit you talk.
but i dont see the words leaving you're mouth.
i see you're words leaving the mouths of the sheep.
you step a crooked walk, you and you're boys.
fitted hats are the new muscles.

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