Monday, May 24, 2010
I fail to believe anybody ever read this, or if they do, still reads this, and i like it that way. I havent actually sat down and wrote anything in awhile. I have some money, and i am finally getting my car on the road. Alot of my old friends came back from college, and i have been trying to reach out to them and to correct the wrong ive done to them but it seems to be all empty words on their side. What more can i do? When it all comes down to the bottom line, ive finally after all these years found the ones who matter. It has been a war within everybody i know vs myself for sometime now, but thats just how i am sometimes. I am very stubborn, spiteful, and what many care about, doesnt even exist to me. Terrible. Now that i have grown up, and everybody around me has grown up, ive looked around to see what we have all done for ourselves, and where our futures seem to be taking us. Now, growing up, i was the one who rebelled, so in the eye of the public, i was frowned apon. But when i look out, i cant help but get the strong feeling that i am right on track, and a little more sure of who i am as a person, then that " public eye ", and who ive spent my years getting judged by. What mattered most growing up, doesnt matter anymore. All the strings attached to anything, no longer exist. Everybody is doing them in all sorts of different ways for a different outcome. All the people ive grown to love, i have ended up hating over some sort of attachment and or complication. That is all gone now, and i wish i knew life would end up like this so some time would have been saved. Nothing stands in the way now. The future ahead of us at the time, is now here and i am anxious to see what is ahead of me now. If its moving to the city with Chez to go to school for a year, or to see where this band takes me. Or maybe i will make a new band in the city? Anything. Or maybe you and I can reunite now that the little grey area is now gone, and the unbreakable wall has now dissapeared. Life is weird and it has a mean punch, but next time it grabs me i will hit it head on. I am taking what is mine. And as cliche as that sounds, that is you, and my dreams, and i cant see myself stopping. You know that. Im sure whoever ends up coming across this knows that, and i will see you out there.