holidays

so christmas. yeah.
going to new brunswick tonight.

are you a loser? throw a party!

here it is. another year and some of my closest friends have turned there back on me yet again. another cliff i dive and survive, another leg i break and the way of wrong i heal. and they say its worth it in the end? well in about 20 minutes ill let you know. because for this, this is the end. the end to all the time wasted. would you fight for our friendship? another year of friends turning into shit. when something negative happens over and over it usually means you yourself needs to change you're ways. that's not the case. if i were to change, id be one of you. and you're saving out for the future? if you're saving anything it should be this. im done with crooked paths. i will never let us reach anything beyond a social conversation. i will never let you're plan come to play and piece itself together. everything broke, and im hiding the pieces in places you cannot find them. you will never talk you're way out of this one. not a fucking chance. i plan on burying you so deep inside of me, that nothing you do nor say will ever be heard enough to hurt me. im putting you're whole life, you're friends, and you yourself so far in the past that when you look forward you wont be able to see past me. and as for you? you were never my friend. you started as an enemy and i let my guard down and you let this happen. you are a bastard and every single one of you're friends are lowlife losers that once the beer is served you get fed like horses. you were always the enemy, you are not my brother. im done walking into darkness. im turning around and ill leave you with you're back to the sun. well, the road splits here, whats it going to be? left or right? im not even going to move forward, im going to turn around and chase the past i never got to see.

Vampire

If you say you are in a bad mood, and you are unhappy where you are at in you're life, it is because you are surrounding yourself with shitty people who could careless about you. God it's so annoying. Cut the weak out and stop it. The only reason i still have the right to complain is because ive done so, and you wont fucking leave. I mean that only sort of. What?


Cage kennylz.
Bruce.
The way i are
City and colour
so much shit.
this doesnt even make sense.
hunger.
hunger.
boys first time.
i went to L's party tonight.
then i went to shannons.
we watched fart porn.
yeah.
problem?

city and colour takes over my body

you are so blind. taking one single thought of yours and running with it, and sticking to you're guns no matter what is said or done. once the tables are slightly turned a war is at our hands. sometimes i want to snap, and plague the helpless but i cant help just want to sit you down and smuther you with glory. ive never had such a best friend, ive never thought itd come down to being so hard to live without this one single person. when i was a younger kid, i never thought in a million years id grow such a relationship with anyone. i never thought i needed anybody. but i do. its scary. besides the matter of love, and that whole field, itd just be awkward and no other human can fill that gap of existence even if they tried. such a feeling has dominated almost every other feeling in my body. ive been set to stone, and i have no problem with it. its mindblowing to actually say, and truly mean you would kill for somebody, other then you're family. and for something as little as spite, no matter what the spite is from and built off of, just spite being there and directed towards me, breaks my heart. i could understand if i have done wrong, but if so, i have never and never will leave a mess in you're hands without atleast a good attempt of cleaning it up. year after year, month after month, week after week, day after day, when my head hits the pillow at night, ive never been so sure of something. i wish you could just say the same.

isolated

as everyone sets off, parts their ways and begins whatever their work after all these years has instore for them, if its college, or working etc. i refuse. many say its a maturity issue. everyone my age has gone and revisited many times, but now they are different. they are grown up. they are everybody else. it is rather wierd. thats cool, go to college, go put things in place, i support that 100 percent. you may think its a maturity issue, and stand above me and my friends for what we are putting together. like i said, i support you're decision, but its when you give up on you're dream is when i think you're a complete chump. we will find our path to travel. just like you guys did. but we wont be walking down it like you, we'll be running.

i have no idea

im really bored.
crime in stereo is doin it for me right now.
drove to brookdale before.
nothing but snobby bitches that go there.
so annoying.
dropped a few friends.
sorry but you were a crutch.
out with the old.
in with the new.
this month is important.
important in a fake world though.


ive thought about it, im pretty stoked on these changes i made. ive never been so sure of something. if you're not going to take responsability for you're actions, then if you luck out when you're stuck and it doesnt go 100 percent the way you wanted, be happy it went all at. no favor had to be done. but it was, and just because it wasnt how you wanted it, doesnt mean its wrong. be greatful. it just shows who you really are. and i dont want to be around that. you're in the past now. forward i advance.


heres a stupid picture.



whats more important?
my mustache?
or that face?
ew.
i would hate me if i were a normal person.

falling apart.

everyday i take the long way home.
i see nothing of me in anything i own.













































































































































































































im not writing in this for awhile.