i dont know

i might be wrong because as of right now ive never felt so alone, but i think i made a huge mistake.

man on a mission

nothing new.
did the normal today: nothing.

when i was younger, in 3rd grade or so my music teacher gave us a sheet of paper and a pencil. he then began to hum notes and asked us to mark on the paper where you think the visual of the sound would be. it was so difficult for everyone in the class to do it, it finally after 20 minutes became a challenge with a reward for the one who got it on exact placement. so there we were, the whole class marking down where they think each sound would be on the piece of paper just by difference. he then went around to all of the desks and i was the only one in the class that got it correct. i didnt understand the big deal, why it was so difficult because well, it was such an easy concept i seemed to grasp almost like i was meant to correnspond with it. from 3rd grade, to tonight. that one day in school has been unraveling itself, and as each day goes by it makes that more bit of sense. last night, i was listening to my favorite song, you know, that song that gets you through whatever obsticle you seem to be having trouble jumping at the time. the song that makes everything better, and my cell phone vibrated. the vibration hitting the desk produced a sound that happened to be in the same key as the chorus of the song. just the vibration itself fit so perfectly, as if a slot opened up in the song for the vibration to reach a higher or lower pitch. the crazy part is, i think i could have pointed that out to you in 3rd grade....

todays date

its been good days. im better off. i spent to much money on food today. mad mcdonalds, then a slice of pizza. a bottle of coke i didnt drink. fuck. oh well. new years i went to carlys. then played some music. kids just get even more pathetic as the minutes pass but whatever. i need some money. im broke niggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. whatever. belive it or not, life would be so much harder for me without this stupid thing. buy me some shirts. i like the fact that i cant see you without seeing through you now. makes me happy. this goes out to the kids who have a world as small as mine. peace.

holidays

so christmas. yeah.
going to new brunswick tonight.

are you a loser? throw a party!

here it is. another year and some of my closest friends have turned there back on me yet again. another cliff i dive and survive, another leg i break and the way of wrong i heal. and they say its worth it in the end? well in about 20 minutes ill let you know. because for this, this is the end. the end to all the time wasted. would you fight for our friendship? another year of friends turning into shit. when something negative happens over and over it usually means you yourself needs to change you're ways. that's not the case. if i were to change, id be one of you. and you're saving out for the future? if you're saving anything it should be this. im done with crooked paths. i will never let us reach anything beyond a social conversation. i will never let you're plan come to play and piece itself together. everything broke, and im hiding the pieces in places you cannot find them. you will never talk you're way out of this one. not a fucking chance. i plan on burying you so deep inside of me, that nothing you do nor say will ever be heard enough to hurt me. im putting you're whole life, you're friends, and you yourself so far in the past that when you look forward you wont be able to see past me. and as for you? you were never my friend. you started as an enemy and i let my guard down and you let this happen. you are a bastard and every single one of you're friends are lowlife losers that once the beer is served you get fed like horses. you were always the enemy, you are not my brother. im done walking into darkness. im turning around and ill leave you with you're back to the sun. well, the road splits here, whats it going to be? left or right? im not even going to move forward, im going to turn around and chase the past i never got to see.

Vampire

If you say you are in a bad mood, and you are unhappy where you are at in you're life, it is because you are surrounding yourself with shitty people who could careless about you. God it's so annoying. Cut the weak out and stop it. The only reason i still have the right to complain is because ive done so, and you wont fucking leave. I mean that only sort of. What?


Cage kennylz.
Bruce.
The way i are
City and colour
so much shit.
this doesnt even make sense.
hunger.
hunger.
boys first time.
i went to L's party tonight.
then i went to shannons.
we watched fart porn.
yeah.
problem?

city and colour takes over my body

you are so blind. taking one single thought of yours and running with it, and sticking to you're guns no matter what is said or done. once the tables are slightly turned a war is at our hands. sometimes i want to snap, and plague the helpless but i cant help just want to sit you down and smuther you with glory. ive never had such a best friend, ive never thought itd come down to being so hard to live without this one single person. when i was a younger kid, i never thought in a million years id grow such a relationship with anyone. i never thought i needed anybody. but i do. its scary. besides the matter of love, and that whole field, itd just be awkward and no other human can fill that gap of existence even if they tried. such a feeling has dominated almost every other feeling in my body. ive been set to stone, and i have no problem with it. its mindblowing to actually say, and truly mean you would kill for somebody, other then you're family. and for something as little as spite, no matter what the spite is from and built off of, just spite being there and directed towards me, breaks my heart. i could understand if i have done wrong, but if so, i have never and never will leave a mess in you're hands without atleast a good attempt of cleaning it up. year after year, month after month, week after week, day after day, when my head hits the pillow at night, ive never been so sure of something. i wish you could just say the same.